I have a great physicist working in my office, who dabbles in geology as a side hobby. Today he expounded a great theory that causes earthquakes in Maharashtra.
The theory goes something like this:
Due to high core temperature, water in the ground table is converted to high pressure steam. This steam then seeks an outlet to rise to the surface through the fissures present naturally and or makes the fissures in places which are susceptible to these phenomena. This outbreak then causes earthquakes in districts that are about three hundred kilometers away.
When questioned as to the reason why Mumbai, which regularly recieves about a 100 inches of rain every year escapes these great build up of steam in the earth's core, the reason given was that the core temperature below Mumbai was less than 100°C, so steam cannot be generated below Mumbai, making it safe from Earthquakes.
Any questions, please direct it to my comment board and we will surely put it to our esteemed scientist / geologist (part time) and try and answer them to his satisfaction.
Tuesday, October 31, 2006
Monday, October 02, 2006
Om Baba and three monkeys!
We all have friends that are so sanctimonius that it really drives us crazy. I too had a friend once like this, he was an old childhood chum, lost in the sands of time and then found again. Re-discovered, this friend of mine has so much spirituality in him, that he almost always sounds like Deepak Chopra on a Reader's Digest, good living article binge. Another friend of mine asked me once, could I do something about it?
This is what I had to say, its a story about a new religion, a religion dominated by a simple molecule C2H5OH or in plain simple words, alcohol. Specifically, Old Monk alcohol or as the engineers so fondly call it, OM Baba.
OM Baba and the three monkeys.
My soul was so agitated (thirsty) that OM Baba could not see my anguish and joined me before the bottle was even half empty (or half full as my friend would say, I imagine).
Without waiting for preliminaries, I very furiously thought" Cheers! baba, my soul is troubled today." The great quaffer of worlds troubles, told me "I know, O, belter of OM. That is why I have left the great party of the skies to help you resolve your dilemma. Let me just refresh my palate and then I will strengthen your faith"
With a lot of cheering and sharing, we finished the ritual bottles of purification and started on the bottles of knowledge and learning. The great partaker of amber knowledge then told me this story of The Three Monkeys.
" A Long Long time ago, when this world was at an infancy, humans just a kink in the chromosomes of apes and monkeys, there lived three monkeys near the coast of todays Maharashtra. The planet was much cleaner then, greener with more trees. Tall, well spread out ones too, with deep roots, unlike the spindly May Flowers you see nowadays.
The three monkeys were just learning to climb. Using limb and tail, they would try and navigate the tree routes of their city, learning new things and ways. Till one day suddenly, one of the monkeys slipped and fell! He was one of the best climbers around, sure footed and grippy tailed, but still, he fell. Unable to take the mortification of this, when he saw his other friends still climbing with ease, he bounded off to a suburban forest in the north. When the two other monkeys turned around to see where their friend was, they were pretty much suprised to learn that he was nowhere around. After a few hoots and squeals, they shrugged their shoulders and went on to discover what life had in store for them.
Pretty soon, they discovered stuff, like stuff grew out of the ground. They used to plant nuts here and there to see if any nutty trees grew. One fine day, they found couple of coconuts lying around. Fascinated with such a huge nut, they buried it underground and waited to see if anything grew out of it. While they were waiting very patiently for about a week or so, they heard a sharp thud. Another coconut had fallen off the tree on to a rock and split open. So they did what all monkeys and children do, put it in their mouths. It tasted good. They remembered that they had a couple more of this divine fruit buried. So they dug it up and cracked the head off. There was a heady aroma coming off the opening in the nut. It had fermented! Fascinated by this they took a sip and then another one and another. Soon all the nuts were finished. Feeling pleasantly numbed the monkeys passed out into a dreamful sleep, full of promises.
They dreamt of life as it should be. Life on two legs, without tails. Life to be spent in the worship of God. Life with religion. Soon they got up and decided almost unanimously (not very hard when there were only two of them) to create more of the great improver of life and to spread the cheer around. For a moment their tails drooped in sorrow for their lost comrade, but with another sip they relegated his memory to the bottoms of their newly expanded consciousness.
Life moved on, they kept navigating trees, sticking close to Coconut ones to keep burying a dozen or so in strategic locations. Leaving a branch to mark the place.After a couple of years, they could almost walk straight and their tails were starting to lose their prehensile strength, when suddenly who swoops down on to their branch, but the dear monkey friend of theirs!
A flurry of squeals and grunts later, they all discover what had happened. How falling of a branch had turned the monkey towards God and religion. How now after facing that hard fact, he now could climb better, faster and higher than any of them. He was very kind and jovial, starting long lectures in the hope to enlightening his friends, whom he very dearly loved. Little did he know, his friends had already found a religion and a different god. They were equally eager to share this knowledge with him, when they lead him to one of their best locations (being a special occassion, nothing but the best for him!).
Heartbroken they were when they saw him refuse smilingly. He was very firm and insistent that their religion was not the right one. He benignly looked on as his two friends sat on the ground and slowly gained the consciousness. Being merged with the great OM. How it must have seemed to him, two of his nearest and dearest, dripping drool all over themselves, discarded coco-shells all over. A strong aroma permeating their very fur.He was pitying their situation, when it really started to pour.
Lightning and thunder rang accross the forest. The rain woke the two monkeys up. They looked groggily at the sky and thought, hey water falling on head, should find shelter. While looking around for shelter they saw their trademark branch and thought, hey coco-drink buried under there, should find GOD. So started again on their rituals, rain all forgotten.
It was getting darker and darker, with lightning flashes everywhere and the third monkey was getting worried. He kept jumping from one branch to another, while his friends lolled about on the ground. He kept squealing to them, climb up, save yourselves from this down pour. To make their friend happy and to have some peace and quiet to commune with their god, they grabbed a couple of cocos each and started for the tree. But they had forgotten. Long years of cocos had weakened their tails and they needed two hands to climb the same trees that they could have easily scaled with the tip of their tails. Now the disturbing choice was, what to let go of, the tree or the cocos. One drink was enough. Trees can come and go, but God does not wait. So back to the branch, they sat enjoying their drinks.
The other monkey was by now hysterical. He screamed and screamed, saying climb up you drunk fools, don't you know the rain could wash your fur away, leave you with a cold and cough? Give you chills and fever? This was getting a bit too loud even for the somnolent monkeys, who were thinking, when was this guy ever so gregarious? and that too without coco drink?
While they were contemplating the eruption of loud noises from the throat of their near and dear friend, there was a huge flash. An odour of ozone permeated the air (not that they could smell much) and thunder followed quickly, a great rolling boom that went on and on. There was a great crash. As sudden as the rains had started, so it departed with this grand finale. In the stunned silent aftermath, the two monkeys slowly looked up from their drinks and thought, thats better, all the goddam water was ruining my drink. And its so silent too, all the irritating squeaking is gone. It took them a moment or two to understand what the absence of squeaking meant and they looked up for the tree, where their friend was residing. Nothing but sky. Rubbing their eyes and taking another long pull to calm their consciousness, they saw that the tree had been hit by lightning, pulverised to a stump.
They stumbled and ran to the base of it to find their friend,twitching on the forest floor, with his fur singed off and the tip of his tail blackened. He was still muttering about how trees were good and safe and how they were fools to drink at a time like this.
Right then an old man with a flowing beard came up to them and said,
"Boys, its better to be drunk and twitching on the floor, than not drunk and twitching on the floor"
First saying in the Book Of OM.
"Cheers"
This is what I had to say, its a story about a new religion, a religion dominated by a simple molecule C2H5OH or in plain simple words, alcohol. Specifically, Old Monk alcohol or as the engineers so fondly call it, OM Baba.
OM Baba and the three monkeys.
My soul was so agitated (thirsty) that OM Baba could not see my anguish and joined me before the bottle was even half empty (or half full as my friend would say, I imagine).
Without waiting for preliminaries, I very furiously thought" Cheers! baba, my soul is troubled today." The great quaffer of worlds troubles, told me "I know, O, belter of OM. That is why I have left the great party of the skies to help you resolve your dilemma. Let me just refresh my palate and then I will strengthen your faith"
With a lot of cheering and sharing, we finished the ritual bottles of purification and started on the bottles of knowledge and learning. The great partaker of amber knowledge then told me this story of The Three Monkeys.
" A Long Long time ago, when this world was at an infancy, humans just a kink in the chromosomes of apes and monkeys, there lived three monkeys near the coast of todays Maharashtra. The planet was much cleaner then, greener with more trees. Tall, well spread out ones too, with deep roots, unlike the spindly May Flowers you see nowadays.
The three monkeys were just learning to climb. Using limb and tail, they would try and navigate the tree routes of their city, learning new things and ways. Till one day suddenly, one of the monkeys slipped and fell! He was one of the best climbers around, sure footed and grippy tailed, but still, he fell. Unable to take the mortification of this, when he saw his other friends still climbing with ease, he bounded off to a suburban forest in the north. When the two other monkeys turned around to see where their friend was, they were pretty much suprised to learn that he was nowhere around. After a few hoots and squeals, they shrugged their shoulders and went on to discover what life had in store for them.
Pretty soon, they discovered stuff, like stuff grew out of the ground. They used to plant nuts here and there to see if any nutty trees grew. One fine day, they found couple of coconuts lying around. Fascinated with such a huge nut, they buried it underground and waited to see if anything grew out of it. While they were waiting very patiently for about a week or so, they heard a sharp thud. Another coconut had fallen off the tree on to a rock and split open. So they did what all monkeys and children do, put it in their mouths. It tasted good. They remembered that they had a couple more of this divine fruit buried. So they dug it up and cracked the head off. There was a heady aroma coming off the opening in the nut. It had fermented! Fascinated by this they took a sip and then another one and another. Soon all the nuts were finished. Feeling pleasantly numbed the monkeys passed out into a dreamful sleep, full of promises.
They dreamt of life as it should be. Life on two legs, without tails. Life to be spent in the worship of God. Life with religion. Soon they got up and decided almost unanimously (not very hard when there were only two of them) to create more of the great improver of life and to spread the cheer around. For a moment their tails drooped in sorrow for their lost comrade, but with another sip they relegated his memory to the bottoms of their newly expanded consciousness.
Life moved on, they kept navigating trees, sticking close to Coconut ones to keep burying a dozen or so in strategic locations. Leaving a branch to mark the place.After a couple of years, they could almost walk straight and their tails were starting to lose their prehensile strength, when suddenly who swoops down on to their branch, but the dear monkey friend of theirs!
A flurry of squeals and grunts later, they all discover what had happened. How falling of a branch had turned the monkey towards God and religion. How now after facing that hard fact, he now could climb better, faster and higher than any of them. He was very kind and jovial, starting long lectures in the hope to enlightening his friends, whom he very dearly loved. Little did he know, his friends had already found a religion and a different god. They were equally eager to share this knowledge with him, when they lead him to one of their best locations (being a special occassion, nothing but the best for him!).
Heartbroken they were when they saw him refuse smilingly. He was very firm and insistent that their religion was not the right one. He benignly looked on as his two friends sat on the ground and slowly gained the consciousness. Being merged with the great OM. How it must have seemed to him, two of his nearest and dearest, dripping drool all over themselves, discarded coco-shells all over. A strong aroma permeating their very fur.He was pitying their situation, when it really started to pour.
Lightning and thunder rang accross the forest. The rain woke the two monkeys up. They looked groggily at the sky and thought, hey water falling on head, should find shelter. While looking around for shelter they saw their trademark branch and thought, hey coco-drink buried under there, should find GOD. So started again on their rituals, rain all forgotten.
It was getting darker and darker, with lightning flashes everywhere and the third monkey was getting worried. He kept jumping from one branch to another, while his friends lolled about on the ground. He kept squealing to them, climb up, save yourselves from this down pour. To make their friend happy and to have some peace and quiet to commune with their god, they grabbed a couple of cocos each and started for the tree. But they had forgotten. Long years of cocos had weakened their tails and they needed two hands to climb the same trees that they could have easily scaled with the tip of their tails. Now the disturbing choice was, what to let go of, the tree or the cocos. One drink was enough. Trees can come and go, but God does not wait. So back to the branch, they sat enjoying their drinks.
The other monkey was by now hysterical. He screamed and screamed, saying climb up you drunk fools, don't you know the rain could wash your fur away, leave you with a cold and cough? Give you chills and fever? This was getting a bit too loud even for the somnolent monkeys, who were thinking, when was this guy ever so gregarious? and that too without coco drink?
While they were contemplating the eruption of loud noises from the throat of their near and dear friend, there was a huge flash. An odour of ozone permeated the air (not that they could smell much) and thunder followed quickly, a great rolling boom that went on and on. There was a great crash. As sudden as the rains had started, so it departed with this grand finale. In the stunned silent aftermath, the two monkeys slowly looked up from their drinks and thought, thats better, all the goddam water was ruining my drink. And its so silent too, all the irritating squeaking is gone. It took them a moment or two to understand what the absence of squeaking meant and they looked up for the tree, where their friend was residing. Nothing but sky. Rubbing their eyes and taking another long pull to calm their consciousness, they saw that the tree had been hit by lightning, pulverised to a stump.
They stumbled and ran to the base of it to find their friend,twitching on the forest floor, with his fur singed off and the tip of his tail blackened. He was still muttering about how trees were good and safe and how they were fools to drink at a time like this.
Right then an old man with a flowing beard came up to them and said,
"Boys, its better to be drunk and twitching on the floor, than not drunk and twitching on the floor"
First saying in the Book Of OM.
"Cheers"
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