India, My dream.

This is with reference to a forward I got, from a guy I did not know, complaining about the people of my country. This is what I have to say to all of those out there. If they can educate me, my comments section is on, but I reserve the right to judje and judje I will.

How does it feel? Living in a cushy apartment in a town or city (in India or outside) to read about the problems that are there. Dire statements of corrupt politicians, policemen, doctors and what not? A new breed of politicians coming up to lift us out of this quagmire. Any PR person worth his salt will tell us that the first thing a product or a brand needs is a major disaster or apocalypse, from cosmetics to cars, this stands true. Show them the worst and tell them how they can improve the situation. Make it sound plausible and then results invariably follow. The deed may be done in the best interests, but still it is a very clever piece of crowd control. I dont need any politician to tell me whats wrong with the country and how he can cure us with my money. I see nothing wrong in my country. It has great people, a nation full of billion people, i see nothing wrong in a few lakh rotten apples. Its the same everywhere.

Pols.. Laloo revolutionises Indian Railways. First time in 50 odd years, making a profit. Trains are on time, fares reduced, more goods, more connectivity. Sure he's biased towards Bihar etc, but he's done good work. Did you expect that?

Police.. pay them a few hundred bucks per day. Yes about 150 odd for 18 hrs duty. No free stores that they can shop for, no place to live, no scholarships for their children, no treatment for their psychological ills. Hounded by people they serve, harrassed by their masters, where do they go? How do you survive in Mumbai city with just a few thousand bucks? And branded corrupt by some idealistic IIT prick all at one go? If I was one of them, I would definitely know a few cells that needed populating.

Traffic, how many times have I doubled parked, cut lanes, parked in a no parking zone, I don't even know. How many times do you think they have been transferred because the pol on the road did not get to his meeting in time, they do have genuine needs, the pols, they are actually running the country. How many times have I been let go, because I was contrite and promised never to do so again, how many times has my car not been towed because it had puja stuff and the puja was going to start in about fifteen minutes, how many times have I not been fined, because I was driving my girl to a meeting and was in a rush, I really do not know or care to count, and branded corrupt in one go.. man I would tow away his bike/cycle/hand cart and make him appear at court.

My country does not need a quick fix or even a slow fix. It is working, times are changing, I did not have to bribe anybody to get my pass port, DL or Pan card. They were not courteous, but neither were they rude. They did their jobs, that's more than what I need, do I need a smile? I need a smile like I need a drunk next to me in the train. If I need a smile, I turn on the TV or look up at the Close-Up hoarding.

India works guys. People do get rich the legit way, if they do not, too bad they didn't try hard enough. There are people who need help. There are people who dont. Dont curse a system for its few ills, democracy is like that, perfect in its imperfections. Only the people in the system know how difficult it is to Jugad the country into the 7% growth that we have. I now know enough bureaucrats to have an inkling.

Politicians are just the face of the people. If you want to change the system, work in the government instead. Join the IAS/IPS or whatever acronym you want. Work hard, be clever, use politics become a director or a secretary or whatever, then change the world. Don't even have to join the government, shit, start a company, make enough money and there are people out there who will give you a city to rule, case in point Narayan Moorthy, he was for a short while the CEO of Blore, can you beat that? Too bad he quit, but hell, he was given the chance was he not? Did we need to elect him? Nope. Aziz Premji says, roads are bad, the next pol that gets elected, promises to spend whatever it takes to fix them, good intentions, bad people. If in about 15 roads at least 10 get fixed this time round, the law of averages would say that in the next five years the next five will get fixed too.

One person/ party can never be able to relate to a country as diverse as ours. I will vote for the IIT guy, because I am selfish enough to realise that educated people know what are the problems that I face. How in the blue blazes is the scion of a premier Indian Technological institute understand, what superstitions, religions and the intangibles mean to the average Indian? Education is a dream to most of us, work is the reality. Grow food, eat, make love and babies. Go to any village, does the tractor help? Why, because god wanted it to. Can an educated guy understand, really understand? Status quo is cherished by many of us, because good intentions do change a bad life for worse many a times. Case in point, Narmada dam, we need the water, the electricity, they need their homes of about a million years. What do we do? What is right? Nothing is right or wrong, but life moves on. Whether or not the dam is built, life will move on. It will be good, because I want it to be good. Not because some guy is going to tell me that now I can be happy.

Archimedes was right, give me a lever and I will move the world, but find the right lever, sending money is not going to change a thing neither is joining a party. In a democracy if you cannot relate to all the billion people, nothing is going to happen. Our country runs on compromises, it can be perfect for me, but do not tell me ever that it's going to be perfect for all. Human suffering is written for us, utopia is not what we need, we need a life, and do we have it, hell yeah!

Oh, but can't I change my constituency for the better? One constituency in lakhs, open your eyes they are already there.Perfect constituencies, there are enough good pols in this country to ensure that. Its the big ones that matter, for that you need the support of more than people, you need to be strong, smart, cynical, make money out of it. Nothing motivates people more than money, its the original sin. Thou shalt not covet and all that. You need to work with corruption, use it and not throw it away. Be real, corruption is as old as the barter system, it is going to stay, you can change the face of it, but then the esse of it will still be there. Absolute power corrupts, even chosen ones.

I know of enough corrupt politicians who do everything they can for their constituents, give them jobs, make good roads, renovate temples etc, if every little bit matters, should that not be a credit to them?

Too long and to passionate, may not do anything I have written, but maybe thats my fault, I do not want people trying to make me feel guilty for being wrong, I am free thats my right.

Take care all, peace to my nation.

Shes it! 

Buying a bike!

Hmmm, buying a bike is always a difficult decision. Being young, upwardly mobile (hopefully) and desirous of female attentions, you are pulled apart by the forces of economy and future matrimony! So, one day I decided to be the smart one and shortlist all the models that I could possibly desire and own.

The great Indian bike scene has a whole gamut of bikes for the petrol crunchers. These fall in the sub 100 CC, to the 110CC category. These are the bread and butter of the motoring companies. Staid looking cheap to own and run (in most cases) these usually have no oomph value, depending solely on their ability to stretch a buck. So this whole category was out first go.

The second segment seems to be the executive segment. The 125 - 135 CC bikes. These are slightly better looking, more equipment levels and definitely more power. Can even make it to 100Ks some times with no hustling and lots of space. Naahhh!

The third is the executive segment. This is the 150 CC segment. With names like Pulsar, Unicorn, Apache and Achiever doing the rounds. Promising mileage and power, these are slightly larger bikes, more comfortable and more powerful. These bikes touch 100Ks regularly with no issues at all. The main issue with these bikes is that they are the preferred choice of every wannabe biker on the street and one tends to get lost in the crowd. The other problem is that at my current salary levels, these are the only sensible choice! Sense and sensibility, that’s more Jane Austen than Harley Davidson I suppose.

The fourth and the last segment, is the segment where all the larger bikes fall. These range from 180 CC to anything like 1000CC and up. Depending on the Moolah. These bikes are fast, they make a statement. They are soul bikes. They make you start clubs when you purchase one. (no wonder, some of these bikes are more expensive than real estate) . They make you race, rally and be the nature spirit, all while commuting to work. These are the old bikes, the Royal Enfields, the Big Yamahas, Hondas and Suzukis.

My heart also came over a Royal Enfield. it’s a 350 CC, 18 BHP. 5 speed mammoth of a bike. Weighing in about 180Kgs, it has gas shock absorbers, a disc brake and an electric start. It sounds like heaven and seats two as if on a royal palanquin. Its smooth on the roads, heavy on the pockets. It is temperamental, moody and great looking. Lots of chrome and a red finish. The best thing about it is, that my whole family is against it. Right from my nearest ancestors to distant twigs of the ole family tree, like cousins second or third removed.

So what will I do? What every smart man does before he goes and buys a bike. Ask my girl friend!

My brother's recipe for Chocolate Fudge.

Mom and I were talking one day of old times. If there is one thing mom likes, then it is any of my friends praising her cooking. She makes a mean chocolate fudge and it is an eternal favorite in our friend circle.

One fine day, mom had just finished a batch and we had just finished that batch, when my bro’s friend piped up, Aunty, how do you make this stuff any ways. While my Mom modestly was murmuring that it is nothing, just something she picked up, my Brother said, its not that tough, any one can make it.

Now his friend was of the serious kind and therefore enquired as to the secret processes that helped manufacture such precious foods. Here is what my bro had to offer:

Ingredients:

1. One packet Cocoa powder (dark chocolate, Cadbury make)
2. One tin condensed milk, my recommendation, Nestle.
3. One packet white butter (Not the Amul one)
4. Sugar to taste
5. Nuts and other assorted dry fruits like raisins etc
6. A wok to cook it all in, hopefully something that is really old and has been used for such enterprises before. (Theory being, if the tools themselves knew what to do, then the human would not have to do much.)

Method:

1. Take Wok out of the shelf. Dust it, if you are up to it, wash it too. Other wise a thorough dusting is enough (heat sterilizes).
2. Take butter out of the plastic or steel container in which it is usually stored. Rinse it once to start it melting nice and easy.
3. Open the tin of Nestle condensed milk.
4. Place wok on the stove.
5. Light the stove using matches or any electric lighter usually kept handy in all kitchens.
6. Empty tin of Nestle on to the wok.
7. Start stirring gently using a brass spoon, for that earthy flavor.
8. Using a spoon, spoon the butter in to the milk. Use the thumb rule; if you think it is too much, then it probably is. Go easy on the butter it, will be better for your cholesterol.
9. Add as many spoons of sugar as you feel like. Sugar never killed anyone.
10. Cut the packet of Cocoa powder. Use sharp scissors; they work best. Avoid personal injuries. In case of accidents, please do not forget to turn the stove off.
11. Empty the pack in to the wok. Start mixing vigorously. The mixture should be of a thick consistency.
12. Add nuts to taste.
13. Now the most important step. Go to the house temple and Pray.
    

In case your prayers are answered and you have succeeded in making the fudge, please call me.

I think this still works.